Ground rules on Confrontation - Dat'o Vijay Eswaran

1. Check your emotions at the door.
2. Never confront the person, always the issue. Avoid using the 'I' and 'you' word in the discussion.
3. Never argue your point for the point's sake, only lawyers do that. Discuss it instead. The objective is communication not domination.
4. Which means equal parts listening to talking.
5. Begin with listening, the more you listen the more effective you become in addressing.
6. Confrontation with Egoism, lust, anger, hatred, jealousy or malice of any kind will always fail. Even pity as a motive is self defeating as an objective.
7.Always confront with love, failing which you can also do so with kindness, compassion or even understanding.
8.Ultimately never digress. It will be highly tempting to bring other issues in. Resis and remain focussed. Make only one point at time.
9. Never forget who you are doing it with or what you are doing it for...yourself.
10. Confrontation without compromise is only possible for a principle, never for personal gain. If you are getting emotional at any juncture, always try to get someone to do it for you or at the very least have a 3rd party present.